Gators in the Sand: A Cautionary Tale

When I first moved to the South, I had one thing on my mind that was my biggest yeeeshhhh: critters. I’d seen enough Instagram videos and viral news clips to know snakes, gators are a south thing, and a water thing, and can, and do show up on golf courses. So naturally, I entered every round of golf with high alert. Because in my mind, every water source was a potential prehistoric pit of doom.

So there we were, playing a quiet round one afternoon, when I hit my ball into the sand trap on Hole 5. And not just any sand trap, this one was landscaped beautifully, with cactuses and tall ornamental grasses nearby. A little desert drama tucked into the course. I trotted over to hit my shot when I suddenly stopped in my tracks.

There, right in the sand, was an alligator.

I screamed. Like, full-body, primal panic. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stumbled backward, yelling to my boyfriend, “Gatorrrr aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

He was already chuckling, he knows me well, but walked over to investigate. And that’s when he lost it. He doubled over, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

It wasn’t a gator. It was a rock. A decorative, beautifully shaped landscaping rock that if you’re an anxious person who watches too much internet content, looks exactly like an alligator buried in sand.

I stood there, still catching my breath, while my boyfriend tried to pull himself together. “It’s a rock, babe,” he gasped between laughs.

Moral of the story: hazards come in many forms… sand, water, fear, and your own imagination. Sometimes the biggest threat is just a really committed piece of landscaping. And honestly, thank God for boyfriends who become husbands that will laugh through the chaos with you (and at you).